i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I think my moral compass just broke
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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