haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
