He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
