He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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