Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
