After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
