I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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