The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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