I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
