i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
