Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
