i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
