Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
do nipples grow back?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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