im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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