Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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