you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
