glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize