Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
