margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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