sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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