Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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