Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
