What did we do last night that was yellow?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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