White coat. Heels.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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