He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
