Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
