I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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