I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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