I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
