Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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