well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
