why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
