If you die in college, do you die in real life?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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