you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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