dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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