everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
