What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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