So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
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Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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