Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize