Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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