I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
