perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
