so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
