so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
