i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
