why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
