I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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