Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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