It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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