I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
