I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
