I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
