Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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