the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
