We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
