Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
