how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
