I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
