I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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