wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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